


Love, Have Mercy

by theeternalblue



Category: The Musketeers (2014)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Family Drama, Romance, Secrets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-15
Updated: 2016-04-15
Packaged: 2018-06-02 08:33:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6559477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theeternalblue/pseuds/theeternalblue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Anne and Aramis' encounter after his four years in the monastery.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love, Have Mercy

**Author's Note:**

> I basically need season 3 ASAP. Do you?

When she receives the news, it’s like pulling open an old wound without warning. And she bled again, for him and those old feelings that have never been buried.  
  
For four years she tried to heal, to make her scars less noticeable, but for four years she saw that angry red mark in her soul. It was a reminder of how loving and losing him felt. It mocked her and her dreams of a different life. A life with him and their son, happily together, even if perhaps enduring a hard life.  
  
Had their lives not been at stake, she would’ve left everything behind her, and begged him to take her away. Anywhere. Wherever he wanted to as long as he kept her at his side. If he swore his love for her was real, she’d follow him to the end of the world. Love that pure and unbounded was childlike, and it knew no reason.  
  
Duties held her back. They tied her to her responsibilities, to the life she had been raised to live. Just as he did.  
  
“Aramis has returned.”  
  
Her heart constricts and her chest feels a painful pressure.  
  
Unrestrained love.   
  
A deathly affair. Theirs was a relationship tightly wound up with lies and betrayal. Anne experienced both exultant pleasure and weakening pain. One look could make her feel giddy, and one word could drive her to tears. He also played her, and yet she had no right to ask for explanations. Aramis wasn’t hers as she wasn’t Aramis’.  
  
Ill-fated love.  
  
He left her without a word. He, who swore to protect her and her child, vanished. She resents him because of that. She is filled with fury because she’d never be his one and only. She has never been anyone’s one and only, that’s why she doesn’t understand he could hurt her in that way. Being left shouldn’t cause pain anymore.  
  
The last four years were meant for her to grow a thicker skin, to keep her scars a proof, but also to forget. And yet, she cannot. How can anyone forget a love so intense?  
  
She says nothing at those words, and it’s not long after he and his comrades wander through the palace again. They do look like soldiers returned from war, like they’ve seen images they’d rather forget. Anne can’t help to look for him, to search for his easy smile and mirthful dark eyes. Her heart doesn’t understand reason.  
  
It’s overwhelming how fast she feels the anger surge in her, all her feelings heightened at his mere presence.  
  
“Your Majesty,” he greets her formally, bowing and keeping eye contact unabashedly.  
  
Inside her, the need of kissing him and slapping him battle until she’s rendered useless. Having him near is not longer enough for her, not after everything they’ve gone through, not after knowing he at least loved her back all those years ago. He loved her enough to risk his life, and that’s more than she’s ever had.  
  
His smile is there, but it’s not easy. His eyes are not as full of joy as before.  
  
Anne wishes to ask if he thought of her like she did. But she ignores him and her emotions.  
  
The moment repeats in her head over and over again. He probably hates her now, but that’s how it felt when he abandoned her without a word, without explanation, letting her believe he had deceived her, and that his promises had been lies. She had been one of many, hadn’t she? After all, nothing more than a crown in her head made her special.  
  
Since the King’s Musketeers left for war, Louis has worried less and less of her freedom. He suspected of Aramis, but now there’s no one who can capture her eye, and after four years, Louis has forgotten she was once the object of desire of one of his faithful soldiers. She’s walking down a corridor to go for her son, the Dauphin, blessed little boy who has become her reason to be. Anne had no intention to find him, alone and in private.  
  
At first, she takes a deep breath and decides to go past him, but Aramis stops, and her body does the same.  
  
“Anne,” he whispers because it’s illicit. He knows that, but he always tempts luck, confident God will take care of His reckless child.  
  
His hand brushes hers, and she can feel his warmth.  
  
“Don’t.”  
  
“What have I done to deserve this?” His voice is smooth and deep, calming even if the situation is not.  
  
“It’s what you didn’t. You left. Me. My son. You didn’t bother to explain. So I ask,” Anne mutters, with her eyes starting to burn with tears, but keeping them at bay. “What did I do to deserve that?”  
  
“I made an oath.” His hand reaches for hers, but she steps back. “This is for the best.”  
Anne doesn’t know if he’s trying to convince her or himself.  
  
“I worried. I had to pretend, and all my questions remained unanswered. I was left lonelier than before. Isolated, untrusted, marked as a possible traitor. Louis forgave me, but he didn’t stop doubting me.” She heaves a sigh, hoping her chest will feel lighter, but it doesn’t. “I needed you.”  
  
This time he lets go of her hand, and caresses her cheek in a bold move. Aramis is soft and tender, even if his skin is rough.  
  
“I thought of you. Each day. But had I stay… the risk was too high. How could’ve stayed away having you so close? How could’ve restrained myself? Looking at you without being able to touch you. At _him_ being raised by another man. My soul wasn’t prepared for it.”  
  
It is selfish, but she finds comfort in knowing she wasn’t the only one affected by their separation.  
  
“Forgive me if I slighted you, but my intention was to keep you safe.”  
  
Instinct drives her hand to fall upon his chest, in an attempt to feel his heart, to let him feel they are in the same unfortunate place, condemned to an impossible love. Aramis places his hand over hers.  
  
“Mama?”  
  
Anne pulls away from Aramis, and turns to meet the questioning gaze of their son.  
  
“My little one, I was on my way to you.” She forces a watery smile on her face, that’s not enough to disguise her inner turmoil. The child walks to her and clings to her hand, eyeing Aramis suspiciously. “This is Aramis, a musketeer. Do you know what musketeers do?”  
  
The future king nods silently.  
  
Aramis crouches in front of the child to look at him directly in the eye. “Let’s make a deal. I promise to be your musketeer, to protect you from anything. You’ll call me, and I’ll be at your side. I promise you won’t know fear.”  
  
The boy smiles. “Mama, too?”  
  
“I’ll protect your mother too.” Aramis is so solemn it makes Anne wonder if he decided long ago this was all he could do. But she’d do the same for them.


End file.
